Friday, September 15, 2006

not so lost

today i had a work meeting at one of the Other Locations (we seem to be spread far and wide across Salem, an area, which otherwise seems quite small to me). Being directionall challenged in an extreme and lamentable way, and David being the cool guy he is, he offered to take me on a lunch drive-by reconaissance so i could be certain i would be able to get there frazzle-free.

as if that weren't cool enough, after we had accomplished the mission, he suggested walking around the farmer's market and picking up some fruit or suchlike for lunch. [He knows i don't eat much when i'm nervous, and nervous i was, since i was pretty certain this would be a conversation about where my job is going.] While we were browsing the fruits and vegetables, he kinda-sorta steered us past a display of flowers for sale and told me to choose one. i so totally beamed and felt wonderfuldippy-sweet-sparkly-tender-treasured-true. i chose the small bunch of wildflowers with the purple-tipped white ones in the blue vase, and then two ginger gold apples. Back at work, we sat and talked while we ate apples before getting out of the jeep. He told me he believes i am talented and cometent and that any company would be well-served to have me on board. Moments like this are usually only dreamed of, and it was Just Right before heading into a big office.

Once in the office a couple hours later, Doug and I clarified what my needs are, what he sees as my benefits to the company, where he saw us going from here. it was nice to hear that i am seen as an asset. We spent longer than i thought we would, and the conversation felt as strong as imported coffee and just as stimulating. it was refreshing to have a dicsussion about my tasks that didn't involve shuffling paper one focused on ideas, the benefits and results thereof.

{confession: when Doug asked me what i wanted, i had to turn my head and bite my tongue for a split second, since what wanted to fall out of my mouth was, "to stay home and raise a brood of children with a man i love, trust, respect and admire and who feels the same way about me." but that's the estrogen talking.}

as we were wrapping up, conversation turned to more mundane but personal topics, such as food and height (he is vegan and taller for a man than i am tall for a woman), photographs, mistakes, and how sometimes we get the best things when we aren't actively looking for them. he promised to drop by our blanket at tomorrow's picnic and tell the boys how wonderful the food is.1. i might have found the right team at long last.

When I got back to my desk, the flowers were there, greeting me cheerily. Even though I felt strong, i felt treasured and appreciated, too. I like this. I feel more myself than i have in years, possibly lifetimes.

1Even though the picnic is catered, the focus is on omnivores and we veggies tend to be left out. Long ago i realized the wisdom of always packing food for the boys and myself. We will take our own fare as a way to ensure that we can enjoy the festivities and conversation as well as the food.

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