Sunday, July 09, 2006

lonley americans?

Robert Putnam, author of the notable Bowling Alone, is at it again, only this time he might actually get it right. Instead of tackling lack of membership in a bowling league though, this time he is talking about those with whom we talk [free registration required, or use mine. user: whatsit4 pass: nytimes]

One hopes that Putnam's latest analysis will point out that before the 50's, families didn't move around, who was picking up the kids from daycare was never even a topic, let alone a worry, and healthcare issues weren't really issues. Frankly, Generation X and beyond has found itself the inheritor of a society that has dashed its old ways without really thinking about how it will create new ones. We know what we want (friends and family, not coworkers and commutes; community not coporate suites; homes, not mass-marketed houses; and leisure, not paid time off) but we aren't certain how to go about getting it.

The good news is that as more of us join forces, even if only as two spouses, or the small-but-true family of a single parent and a child or two, we are making our preferences known. It's not a movement; it's a reality. the pressures of rising gas prices and daycare prices (especially when combined with diminishing quality and increasing fear of abuse in centers) has combined to generate a picture wherein it borders on pushing us out of the traditional workplace altogether. We aren't "ganging up on the system" as Hippies did in Woodstock Nation. but Gen X'ers have had to live together in uncoventional ways since they graduated from college. Steve Jackson's wonderfully hysterical and all-too-true Chez Geek is built on that weird nineties reality where we all crammed two-to-a-bedroom in the apartment and had a job or three. Now that the first of them are graduating to their forties, they come with a different perspective, and the way they choose to solve their problems will be different historically, but won't really seem that way to each other or to the generations which immediately follow.

Housing realities have hit the bizzare realm. In larger cities, sometimes it doesn't seem to matter if you do everything you are 'supposed to do,' you still find yourself on the outs.

The neat thing is that there are places and devlopers that are taking these preferences into account, and deliberate walking communities are being planned. In other places, young people are moving into older traditional neighborhoods, buying homes at lower-than-average market prices, and turning the whole thing into a revitalized neighborhood center. I don't see many lonely Americans in my neighborhood, even though i might not know or celebrate the birthdays of everyone on the block.

I work 20 hours a week. Is it enough to support my family? Heck no, but i'm not going to change it, either. in a world where health benefits are a pipe dream and public schools an emotional and educational wasteland, I really don't see how I could feasibly work more than that regularly. I would like to qualify to work at my skill level, which would more than double what I make without requiring an hour more of my time at the office. I like homeschooling the boys. I like being part of my neighborhood. I like seeing my home during the daylight hours. I like not being so wiped out when i get back from the office that i can't cook or play games with family and friends.

Call me crazy.

No comments: